It's not as catchy as The Barenaked Ladies' song about what they'd do if they had a million dollars, but the title was really set for me by a co-worker. This morning I was greeted by the frightening words that I think we've probably all heard at one point in time. It's not the words that frighten, it's who says them. If the right person tells you this, as I've experienced, it can be a great thing. But this morning it was frightening.... "I had the craziest dream about you last night...." said my co-worker who sits directly in front of me. Apprehensively, I asked, "Oh really?" He elaborated after saying that he had to "get it all straight in his head first." Here's the dream:
Without any background, he received a case with $200,000 in it. From his description, the assumption is that it was legitimately obtained. Although, outside of Deal or No Deal, the only time I've seen cases used for that kind of cash are for illegal activities. I'll believe him though. Since I recently had to have some car repairs done, he thought it'd be nice to help me out by giving me $30,000. Instead of giving him a thank you card, I called HR and told them that he stole the $200k from the company. Apparently in his dream, I'm not very smart, or grateful for that matter. This of course led to things getting really crazy and lots of accusations flying around and a fist fight. Honestly, a fist fight between he and I could be on pay-per-view. The two most unlikely guys duke it out! The entertainment value would be high! After the fist fight, he and I, seperately, were on the run...all over the country. Ocassionally, our paths would cross and we'd get into more fist fights. I'm starting to think that maybe he has some hidden anger issues toward me. I'm going to be a bit more cautious when he's around. As far as I know, we're both still on the run and none of this has been resolved. If you happen to have a dream and see a couple of tall guys awkwardly fist fighting, let me know how it turns out.
I want to clear something up though, and I was sure to clear it up for my co-worker too. Should I receive a gift of thousands of dollars, I won't ask questions or notify any authorities. I'll promptly write out a heartfelt and sincere thank you card.
So if I had $30,000...I could buy a couple brand new 2002 Buick Centurys! (or use the money more wisely, which is likely what I'd do)
What's something ridiculous you'd do if you got a $30,000 gift?
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6 comments:
LOL nice. The mental image of the fistfight made my whole day.
I would buy
1. A gasoline powered turtle-neck sweater
2. A fur sink (but not a real fur sink, that's cruel)
3. An electric dog polisher
(seriously though I think I'd just take a big road trip out west)
I'd leave a tip at Starbucks.
oh and Squirrel Underpants, creepy little nudists . . .
Well, I'm not sure I'd give any to you. But if you needed it I probably would because I'd get a cool thank you note (at least that's what you say).
I'd take my beautiful wife somewhere fun...Italy, maybe Portugal, maybe both.
I'd also buy some more music toys. (not like Jeff's, but like real ones...Tenor sax, better recording equip, etc.)\
Thanks for asking!
I would use the money to create the Ultimate Awkward Fighting Championship franchise. This is something that I would pay to see and I think others would too. Any contestant who does anything that looks remotely coordinated in the ring would be immediately disqualified.
Any money left over I would use to try to buy the loyalties of some HR people to help frame your co-worker. With any luck, there'd be a reward.
I changed my mind again, I'd buy the Seahorse. Free CABIN BOY'S for everyone!!!!!
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